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As it acts in the world, the Tao
is like the bending of a bow.
The top is bent downward;
the bottom is bent up.
It adjusts excess and deficiency
so that there is perfect balance.
It takes from what is too much
and gives to what isn't enough.
Those who try to control,
who use force to protect their power,
go against the direction of the Tao.
They take from those who don't have enough
and give to those who have far too much.
The Master can keep giving
because there is no end to her wealth.
She acts without expectation,
succeeds without taking credit,
and doesn't think that she is better
than anyone else.
77
Tao Te Ching, a New English Version, copyright ©️ 1988 by Stephen Mitchell, published by HarperCollins. All rights reserved.
Life has a difficulty dial knob; it’s called expectations. All expectations add fragility to our life experience. When you expect a promotion, every day feels like a prison sentence. When you expect your partner not to cheat on you, evey night out with friends becomes a nightmare. When you expect your car to start in the morning, you are one key-turn away from an anxiety attack. The more we expect, the thinner the glass between sanity and madness.
Of course expectations, and therefore difficulty, is not necessarily undesirable. Ask any gammer or athlete you know! Novak Djokovic will surelly not have as much fun playing tennis against a 7 year old. He’d be far from fragile but also far from any type of joy.
Yes. Just as you might have guessed: it’s all about finding that balance. The right amount of difficulty. Just enough to be challenged and enjoy the game but not too much to get discouraged and break down. In that line you will find flow. Tension, but also release. Drama, but also comedy. Hate, but also love.
Setting the right expectations should work somewhat like finding the right volume in your car radio. You start low, dial up until its a little too high, then a tad lower and.. ahh.. perfect. But we both know thats not quite realistic. Dialing up is ridiculously easy, dialing down… not that much.
Dialing down is a true craft. A craft we never know we need to master until we get burned by the deafening loudness of the dial knob turned too high. As any craft, it takes deliberate practice, patience and a little bit of luck. Its uncomfortable because it means “giving up”. A term we associate with losers. And yes, it means losing something. Sometimes your whole identity. It takes serious courage, but those brave enough to die will be awarded with life. You have to let go of who you are to become who you might be.
Song Pick of the Week (Official TTT Playlist here)
(Classical)
(Lo-Fi Electronica)
You know what genre that is…
Thank you for reading!
Until next Tuesday,
Daniel